green beards, snakes and sticks!

Why is it that everything that will go wrong does go wrong at the worst possible moment?

A good weekend must be paid for by weighing out with a bad week.

Paddy’s day for most included getting intoxicated early in the day, while catching brief glimpses of Corks famous miniature parade strolling by. And the consumption of green ice-creams, potatoes, cakes and beer was something all could participate in, producing this feeling of community among the growing ethnic diversity that is sprawling through the city at an alarming rate. Even to the extent that an Irish person is approached and asked do they speak English!

Can we say we are happy about these changes; do we really want to become another European city, no different to those we travel to on a regular basis?

Paddy’s day is the day the man with the green beard chased out the snakes and put a plague upon us. We no longer had our own free, exterminating system to get rid of rats and mice. That’s the government hard at work trying to create more jobs and tax revenue in a continually recessive country. If you ask me that’s what caused the Titanic to sink. (The rats I was referring to!)

But onto my own personal experience of Mr Green beard day. Like all Irish nationals, I did my duty by staying in bed for the parade. My two housemates – Bevis and Butthead weren’t even impressed with it so I felt assuaged in my choice to forego the festivities.

It was later that night that I would meet up with my fellow gingerbread housemates. We all gathered in custard slices abode and were awed at the size of her bed of pastry! Our mouths watered and our eyes twinkled with envy. The soft liquorice couches did much to comfort us. Cup cake even covered her cakes with green icing with silver balls! Coco pops was very happy indeed!

The night started off swimmingly with the vast array of inviting food groups and many tasteful desserts but things soon started to turn off... a word here, a gesture there.. None too many that the majority of desserts would notice. But coco pops and cup cake were not so unaware. Perhaps it was the sugar, perhaps it was the beautifully concocted juicy alcoholic punch that set things awry.. Sour grapes and cup cakes patience wore thin. Whipped creams demeanour changed to its alter ego eggshells. And with a quick flourish and a wave was gone before those who worried knew what happened.

What did happen? I still don’t know!

The next day followed on like all good days after a night out. A morning spent in bed. Reflecting what happened the night previous seemed to cause coco pops chocolate to melt a bit, due to the stupidity of the events that had come to pass. I’m not sure it actually warrants a word as big as EVENT for what happened. Stick stubborn with stubborn and you can get some impressive arguments! Poor cup cake just isn’t cut out for this sort of stress and whipped cream should have known it!

Then to make things worse I found out one of my cereal group is sick and won’t be able to appear in the commercial Thursday! What to do?! She was one of the main cereals! I think it might have to be cancelled. Please have mercy on coco pops, she has a quality test on Thursday too!

I would like to apologise to all those food groups, especially desserts, that got hurt on green beards day, I think it was an evil day anyway! I mean a man with a big stick and a green beard that herded snakes...! need I say more?!

sweet 'n' sour and just plain ole 'thing' in the gingerbread house

candyfloss... so fluffy, so light, so sticky, so sweet. it can sometimes attach to your clothes while not even being aware of it. eggshells... so easily broken, very tender and sensitive, easily scattered. you wouldn't think it a likely mix would you? either do we, but candyfloss just keeps on coming back for more eggs.
but eggs yoke belongs to another rich dark chocolate dessert. it is a very elusive chocolate, one could not be blamed to question its actual existence. is it a myth or does dark chocolate just not mix well with other desserts?!

we also think that 'the thing' would like to get a bite of eggshells, perhaps a nibble of candyfloss and remove dark chocolate from the picture. it just keeps getting stickier!

on other news - dolly mix was in yesterday with side-kick, truffle. they seemed very excited about the upcoming feast of desserts. its going to be a very interesting mix of sugar and lemon. unfortunately dolly mix didn't seem to get the message that she just wasn't quite sweet enough for the feast. 'the thing' continues to hover over us, breathing precariously down our sweet sweet necks. we fear the sourness may spread and infect the core of our beloved gingerbread house.

custard slices meal of sensual delights on Friday is expected to get more than our taste buds tingling. however we hope that custard slices plum wasn't too bruised to serve to us. we all love yop!

boys can be so fickle

If you ever pass a group of girls talking you can almost be certain that they are talking about boys. Big; small; pig headed; cheating; seemingly sensitive; lying boys - which women can’t help but radiate towards. This inevitably leads to the girly group chat that you will see congregating at any decently established business. The only requirements are that the venue provides comfy seats and a generous flow of coffee! All plans for the day are quickly put to the side.

After being a part of many of these ritual ... “discussions”, my most prevalent findings were basically... That men are full of a load of bollix.. in every sense.

You can’t even trust your fellow girlfriend anymore for the fear of what may be said behind your back following the disclosure of some delicate information pertaining to a certain... Guy.

But the real problem is the way that boys (that’s what their actions indicate they are) think they can treat us. They use and dispose, trying to upgrade all the time. To give but one example; here is a recorded quote from one ‘friend’ to another.

Guy: “I'm thinking perhaps that I've spent the past two years listening to everybody tell me you and I should be together. Correspondingly I spent the past two years telling myself no we won't. There was always a safety barrier between us that kept us apart and I was happy with that. Then you jumped over it. Perhaps I was scared. You overcame the last hurdle. Which really left no excuses left for me on us not to be together. Except for the fact that I didn't want to go there. Something deep down just doesn't want to go there. So I'm in a situation where logic says one thing but my heart says no. and I have to follow my heart. I want a wedge between us sexually not emotionally.”

Is the guy just really sensitive or is he making excuses? Sounds like he got a new girl to me and didn't need his on call sex buddy anymore. Boys can be so cruel.

Girl: “First of all, how was I the one who jumped over the barrier? It takes two to tango. And, (and I’m not placing blame here) you were always the one who made the first in re-initiating it. If you didn't want to go there Guy then why did you spent 5 months sleeping with me knowing you didn't want to go there. If your heart was saying you don’t want me then why did you pretend to yourself that you did. That isn't a fair thing to do to a person, casual relationship or not. I feel now that I wish we had not undertaken this arrangement in the first place. As you said you didn't want to go there so that panders the question as to why you did”.

God this girl deserves a medal! Talk about being given the loop around. The boy seems to be a sniveling excuse of a male and tries to smooth things over by being all considerate and sad by talking about his heart. Really what he meant was – ‘Hun, I’ve found some new meat and you were good for a bit but I’ve found something fresher now. Thanks, it was fun, sure if things don’t work out we can always resume!”

All I can say really say is don’t believe a word the opposite sex says. That works for men too, girls can be as equally deceiving. Their not afraid to get what they want!

oh and remember.. someones always listening!!!!

boots,jeans,jumpers and fags

as much as the story of 'wedn. night' appeals to me and is by no means finished, i feel it is my duty to introduce another character into the equation. this .. person you might call it, is known to most as 'the thing'. she doesn't fit in a food group category.we debated giving her the name of burnt mars bar/brussel sprouts or broccoli ice cream... they all seemed too good for her!

today it came as no surprise to find her hovering around the usual people trying to impose herself on them as it were. Little did we know that she was slowly but surely moulding herself in the image of milk every day until it became glaringly obvious. the boots it wore.. the whole look.. it even started smoking soon after milk did! i just hope that they never procreate together. thing tends to druel and is disturbing to look at, i wouldn't eat my lunch in its company lets say because it wouldn't stay down for long..

and can i just ask.. how does one or in this case a whole group of people get rid of something they don't want to be around, save for killing it? although i must admit i have got a few pledges of knives already. thank you!

how do we dispose of trash without leaving a mess?emotionally and physically.
although i doubt sometimes if the thing actually has feelings.. alien..

early thursday, no dream

gossip is a pretty powerful thing you know.. i love gossip. i also love secrets. not to spread round but just to make me feel special! Wednesday night was definitely no secret. gossip doesn't even cover it!

Thursday started off pretty normally. i awoke to a nasty stream of bright sunny light heating my face. i then dragged the duvet over my head while mumbling something about the lecture that i was missing wasn't important anyway and that whipped cream would probably get the notes.

it was a normal morning until i suddenly remembered the picture from the night before and was trying to recall if it had been a dream or actually real... no sleep for me. so i took the phone out and lo and behold it most definitely wasn't.

i was up out of bed and txting whipped cream straight away asking for more details. he replied by sending a zoom in shot of the already traumatising image ingrained into the back of my skull. even the hardest spirits will have a tough job of removing that. all praise the makers of vodka!what cant potatoes do??!

my morning was spent enterprisingly i would think. i may not have made it to the lecture but i most certainly learnt things along the way to it. some 3 people i bumped into over a 6 minute walk into college who had heard of the previous nights.... events!

milk whisked cookies away with her to her apartment after the club, and everyone was privy to it. speculation is a mighty powerful force..

when i ran into milk i asked how the night was and all she did was smile.. something like a Cheshire cat.

and the plot thickens, the cookie dough hardens and the milk curdles...

dark wednesday

Wednesday nights are a peculiar thing. For many it is the night of the week that all types of people go out... and then the next day they place blame on the cheap 3 euro vodkas that the club was promoting the night before. but really no one made them drink that extra vodka.they could have easily put it aside for that college book that they can never seem to afford.Instead they wake up beside some randomer again and wonder why they never seem to have any relationships of consequence.

I just want to shed some light on some of the events that follow on from such a night..
WARNING: its not pretty.

It was a Wednesday night like all others. perhaps without the rain on this occasion. i was in bed cozied up with a delightful new novel while ... acquaintances of mine... were running around their apartments and houses no doubt applying the last part of their faces, and the men moved onto their 5Th beer of the night. I had grown fed up of this particular wedn. night ritual some time ago.

my lights went off at the decent hour of 12 midnight, only to be woken unceremoniously at 3a.m in the morning to the buzzing of my phone. rolling over i grabbed the phone pressing enter. a message. i mean why do people txt each other at that hour?? but i cant complain too much this time. one my friends had deemed this .. news... was equal to emergency status.

i looked for some time at the image that assailed my eyes.. surely not. it was a picture message of a man bent low kissing a much smaller woman. i was puzzled and disturbed. after Some quick thumb work i found out that it was our mutual friends.. Milk and Cookies in the picture. Whipped cream then apologised profusely for the "traumatising image".

i then quickly returned to my alternate universe, where these type of things don't happen and all is well and fluffy..! Thursday could wait a little longer..